Of Fezzes and Bracelets
by DonnaWatson
Summary: Contains fezzes and bracelets inside.
1. FEZ!

Okay, now I'm mad. I was just minding my own business, walking to my next class, and then this happens. Why me? And why the heck did you people take my freaking fez?

You probably want to know what I'm talking about, huh? Randomly two guys in military-like clothes grabbed me and took my bracelet and my fez and ran off. I guess you might also be wondering why I was wearing a fez in London though. I don't see what's wrong with it. If you do then please tell me, cause I'd like to know. Seriously, leave a review and tell me what the heck you think is wrong with it, because there is nothing wrong with it and we will have an argument.

Anyways, I like fezzes. I mean seriously, last year everyone just seemed to ignore me. I was inviseblae (Also known as invisible.) Then one day I here this weird sound that I can't really describe around the corner, so I went to see what it was. There wasn't anyone there. All there was in the alley was a fez lying on the ground in a puddle. I liked it, so I took it home, cleaned it off, and have rarely taken it off since. (For the germaphobes, don't worry. I cleaned it thoroughly like 5 times because my aunt was so freaking persistent.) Ever since then people don't ignore me anymore, which is just another reason to keep wearing it. So if you do have a problem with me wearing a fez here, then think about that.

Then there's also the matter of the bracelet. It has been passed down through my family for generations and all that crap. But it's not some weird old piece of leather. It is a metal bracelet engraved with weird, and awesome, designs. It has things like crescent moons, circles, spirals, lines, all in random places in no particular design. I would ask my parents if they represented or meant something, but I haven't seen my mom since I was five and my dad died right after I was born, so ya know…

Anyways, I got sidetracked from the point. I tend to do that a lot. I'll start rambling about something and I won't stop. Really anything the slightest bit distracting can make me do that. Like when I listen to some of my favorite bands. I prefer rock and punk music if I think about it. I like My Chemical Romance, Rise Against, Falling In Reverse, well, not really Falling In Reverse, but Panic! At The Disco…

Oh shoot. I did it again, didn't I? Well then. I did warn you. Anyways, here it is.

I chased after the people that took my stuff, because my aunt we kill me if I lost the bracelet, even like this. They didn't have a car, but they were still fast. Luckily I am one of the fastest runners on my track team (not to brag or anything…), so I managed to keep them in sight. I kept chasing after them; sure my aunt would give me crap about skipping school when I got home. Shoot. But then something, odd, happened.

As soon as I started to think about that the people I had been chasing seemed to just… disappear. I slowed to a stop, just watching where they had been, literally a second before. I had no clue where they went. I thought that maybe I should go over there anyway, just in case. And as soon as I got over there I noticed something that I hadn't seen before. There was a sort of lock on the wall by the door, but in Canary Wharf the door is almost never locked, and they wouldn't waste that much money on a lock only used a few times (or at least I don't think so. What is canary wharf even for anyways?), so I wonder what it's for. Eh, I'll store it in my mind palace for later (I don't really have a mind palace, but I want one). So then I went inside.

There was tons of security. There was a lot of security guards, walking around, coming through the lobby, say… every fifteen minutes? They were also in the military-like uniforms, making it impossible to tell whether or not they were the thieves. And actually, now that I get a better look, they might actually be military. Interesting… Anyways, there weren't any cameras, like they were trying to hide the fact that they are surveying us. I've been in places like these before and they usually have microphones everywhere if there aren't cameras. How to get past…

**Okay, I know, it's cheesy. But I can't change such a major part in the story otherwise I would just be screwing myself over. And the chapters do get longer and shorter as you progress, but once we get into the episode the chapters are longer, so don't worry.**


	2. Why'd I Go To The Basement?

**Again cheesy (and short), but I'm not really sure how to change this part.**

Okay. I got past security. What, you want to know how? I can't just leave it at that? *snorts* Well then. Picky, picky.

Anyways, there was a scientist walking by so when there weren't any security guards around, I knocked him out with a single blow to the head and dragged him outside. Granted I hit him with my baseball bat, but still. And it's not like I killed him or anything. I'm not strong enough to do that, even with a baseball bat. Oh and also, did I mention having a baseball bat? Well, I was coming from P.E., and we had been playing baseball (since I was the one holding it at the time I was supposed to put it away), and I thought I might need to end up using the bat. I mean, I was chasing thieves. And at least taking it wasn't a wasted effort.

Anyways… I put on his coat and walked further into the building. I came to an elevator so I decided I should try that. There was one problem with that though. I had no clue which floor to go to. It's not like there's a button that says "For Jenna Smith." I wish there was though, because that would make things a heck of a lot easier.

And guess what happened next? I was taking my time deciding what floor I was going to when someone else came in to the elevator. I just had to stand there flash a smile at him quickly (like people do at strangers) and hope he didn't notice that I didn't really work there.

So, since I was in a hurry now, I naturally chose the basement (of course right after I pressed the button he got out as it came to his floor). The place that always seems to be the creepiest seemed like it would be the place where weird things, like a stolen fez, would be/happen too, right?

Once I was there, I walked as if I had a purpose, all the while keeping an eye out for my bracelet and fez. And if you are being analytical you are probably wondering where my bat went. Well, luckily for me, no one really watched me. As they passed I could just switch it to the side that they weren't on and they didn't notice. Seriously, a group of soldiers walked by completely ignoring me. So naturally, I kept walking. And yet another weird thing happened, but I just brushed it off. I saw a truck parked with a blue police box in the back. Like one of those ones from the . But then again, I had no clue what half of the machines around me were. Then my luck streak ended.

More people had started to come towards me, but this time one of them started yelling at me.

"Hey! How'd you get in here?!"

After standing like a deer in headlights for a moment, I started to run, sprinting straight to my left. I looked around quickly to find a good place to be out of sight from the people chasing me. I saw the truck with the police box on it and hopped up onto it once I was sure that I was out of sight of everyone. AS I stood there, my body pressed against the box with my breathing ragged, I heard them start to run this way, so I slipped into the box, thinking that it might be a bit cramped, but it would work for when they ran by. I slipped in and closed the doors. I waited until I heard the running footsteps passed, and then let out a sigh of relief. I turned around and sunk to the ground with my eyes closed leaning against the doors. After a few minutes I kicked out my feet expecting to hit the other side of the box. There was nothing there. I slowly opened my eyes to see how that could be possible.

"Whoa."


	3. Where The Heck Am I?

**Because the last chapter was so short I decided to update this one early!**

**It's not to many considering how many most people have, but I did not ever expect to have this many views from so many countries tis early! Thank you everyone who has viewed this story, I really appreciate it. The last couple chapters have been short, but this one is a bit longer so… (Heh, I love using ellipses…) hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

Where the Heck Am I?

Besides the one word which I had managed to utter, I was completely speechless. "It's- it's bigger on the inside," I whispered. It was so shocking, so brilliant, so terrifying, it was almost… brirrifying. (And I happen to love that amazing word so do not judge me for using it.)

There was this, this thing, in the middle of the room that had a lot of buttons and levers on it, and there was coral all around it that sort of looked like gigantic bones. It was definitely brirrifying. It was awesome too though. So what to do… explore an old police box that's bigger on the inside or continue looking for my fez and bracelet? I can always buy a fez, I thought. And that's where my journey began. I must have been there for hours, maybe even a few days. At first all I found were ordinary things. For example, there were two bedrooms, and a couple bathrooms, nothing out of the ordinary. Except for the fact that in one of the closets all of the suits were the same or extremely similar.

Then I went deeper inside. There was a giant library, every shelf packed with books. And if you think that's ordinary than wait till you here what else was in the library: there was a pool with a couple dolphins and other fish that I couldn't identify in it too. I didn't like to read too much, but the pool was awesome. After I got over the shock of that I continued to explore and found an amazing room with tons of clothes. It seemed like the stairs up and down might I mention, never ended. It had clothes from practically every era of time.

After looking through the clothes for at least an hour I left to explore some more. I found this one room with nine sets of clothes in it, none a lot like the other. There was one with leather pants and jacket with a plain black t-shirt. With another pretty much every item of clothing resembled a question mark. For yet another there was celery on the suit as an accessory.

Then I started to hear the voices. So many voices. They were saying so many strange things too. Some were whispers and others shouts. It was like being in a crowd of people gone mad. "Don't move. The sound of giant slugs! Fantastic! Gallifrey. I'm fully booked for the next two centuries. Tardis. First things first, but not necessarily in that order. Deactivating a generator loop without the correct key is like repairing a watch with a hammer and chisel."

There were also multiple names being called out. "Susan. Ace. Rose. Ricky. K-9. Sarah Jane Smith. Ian Chesterton. Barbara Wright. Mel. Peri. Jo Grant. Adric."

After a few minutes I started to get majorly creeped out and sprinted out of the room. I got as far away as possible. After a while I stopped running. I took a quick look-round to gather my wits. Not like it helped much. I decided that I should stop wandering around, otherwise I might just faint from the absatively posilutely brirrifying shock of it all. And yes, if you have been wondering I do like to use words that do not exist in any dictionary. It annoys my aunt so greatly. Anyways… I thought I'd look for the control room, which is what I started to call the first room I walked into. One problem with that though. I couldn't remember which way I came from. Well, this isn't good. "Where do you want to go?" asked a strange voice from behind me.

"Who wants to know?" I asked hesitantly.

"I'm the Tardis. I let you in here after all. This is just an image from my mainframe. Would you like to go back to the console room?"

"Why'd you let me in here?"

"The Doctor will want to talk to you."

Unknowingly, I asked an age old question. "Doctor Who?"

* * *

**Copyright GottaLoveTen: brirrifying.**

**TimeLadyHope: Thank you for thinking that this is "coolness"**

**A-D-E-E-E-R (Abby) Thank you so much! And yes Gallifreyan bracelet, so ha!**


	4. Who The Heck Is The Tardis?

**TimeLadyHope: Thank you for thinking that this is "coolness"**

**A-D-E-E-E-R (Abby) Thank you so much! And yes Gallifreyan bracelet, so ha!**

**Thank you everyone who has viewed this story you are absatively posilutely amazing! **

**TimeLadyHope: and now you get to see where this goes!**

**Natalie, thank you for backing me up. So, So much. And Abby too.**

Chapter Four

At that she just sort of chuckled. Didn't she say that she has a mainframe? That means that she is a machine. Can machines laugh? Do they even have emotions? Or can they control themselves?

I had so many questions, and I doubt that any of them were going to be answered any time soon.

"I'll show you to the console room," she said, waking me from my daydream. She started to walk away, and I figured that if I was going to get my bearings at all then I better follow her to this, _console room_.

*time break*

Okay, I thought it would take a while to get back to the console room, but this _Tardis_ thing walked faster than I thought she- it would. It took me however long to get where I was and with her it only took about a half hour to get back. A few times I thought that the walls literally moved out of her way. Considering the things I've seen recently they might have.

"So… what's your name?" She didn't respond.

"Who is this Doctor you mentioned?" Again no response.

"Are you going to answer any of my questions?" Silence. I sighed and stayed silent the rest of the trip back.

As soon as she stepped into the console room she turned around to face me, smiled, and disappeared. If I think about it, it makes sense that she would disappear like that. Because she took that image from her mainframe, or so she says, she was most likely a hologram. Cool. I guess.

I'm bored. So very very bored. I got so bored I started to climb the coral out of boredom. After a while I reached the top. And stayed there. I started to hum some of my favorite songs. I wish I had my phone. Then I could listen to the songs, not just hum them. I started to think about coming down. Then the door opened.

**Sorry for the short chapter, but trust me, the next one will be much much longer.**

**I FIXED IT!**


	5. Up In The Coral

**Thank you everyone who reviewed! So many people have viewed this story, including people from the UK!**

**A-D-E-E-E-R I would climb the coral too, so I just had to put it in there.**

As he came in I held my breath. I was scared. I didn't have any clue of what to do.

Okay, okay. As I looked away I thought this. Calm yourself Jenna, You can deal with this. Okay. I decided that I would just stay where I was and if he noticed me then I would run like heck. And if he blocked the door, well… I still had my baseball bat. Until he forced me to do that, I'll just stay here and watch.

I looked back at him and almost couldn't contain my gasp of surprise. I'd seen him before. At several crime scenes he had been there. I had also seen him earlier with that woman yelling at me before I hid in here. And now that I think about it, in the creepy room with all the voices there were some outfits I had sort of recognized. At several more crime scenes I have seen weird people in some of those outfits.

Again, what I just said might confuse you a bit. You're probably thinking "how does she know that they were at a bunch of crime scenes, huh?" Well, I happen to be drawn to crime scenes. I feel bad for the dead people and their family, but I still find it interesting. It's actually sort of fun for me. And that has been a brirrifying fact of Jenna Smith.

Anyways (hehe. Beautiful word, anyways. Don't you think so?), back to the strange man in the strange blue box that is bigger on the inside and me watching it all from above. Yeah…

I turned my attention back to the man, worried, thinking that he might have spotted me. He didn't see me, but was he… he was crying! Then he started to mumble, seemingly to himself at first, but then, since he didn't know that I was in the room he started to get louder and louder.

"Why?" he said his voice cracking a little.

"Why does this always happen to me? And with Rose," he said softly. Wait, hadn't I heard that name earlier?

"ROSE! THE OTHERS WERE BAD ENOUGH, BUT NOW ROSE?! I LOVED HER!" You know it was starting to get really awkward up here.

"No," he said, his voice cracking again. "I have to say goodbye. I HAVE TO AT LEAST SAY GOODBYE!" he said. Or more of screamed at the top of his lungs. I actually was starting to feel really bad about this. Then he started messing with weird tools and stuff that I had absolutely no idea what it was. He plugged some stuff into the "console" as I guess is the weird thing in the middle of the room with a bunch of buttons and levers on it. Though it is a pretty accurate guess seeing as this is the console room and that is the main thing in the room.

"I have to at least say goodbye," again, but in a whisper. He kept messing with things, putting them together, then taking them back apart.

"Yes, that's right! Wait, no it isn't. Gahhhh." After a while I started to get hungry. Immediately I knew I was screwed. I couldn't come down now! This guy was obviously mad, and have you ever dealt with a madman before! It's awful! And freaky. And they tend to threaten you and make deals with you and then threaten you some more. It scared me so much. It was terrifying. Especially if you are locked in a room with them. And please don't ask me why I was locked in a room with a madman.

Asylums… they me in quite a few when I've ran away. Eventually, when they finally put me in a room with someone else, I believe I did actually go mad. I haven't ever run away again after that. I don't plan to either. I'm just moving out as soon as possible. Shoot. I told you didn't I. Why do I have to ramble so much…

Anyways I was getting seriously hungry. On the brink of taking a chunk out of my arm actually. In my defense I have been in here at least a few days. Before I was too distracted and excited and scar and amazed… I just didn't have any time to be hungry. Or to think about my fez. Oh how I miss my fez. Considering how ling I've been gone my aunt (also known as devil spawn) won't let me buy a fez for quite some time. (Quite is also an amazing word, don't you think so? If not you can take that up with me in the reviews… I meant later. You can take it up with me later.) And I cannot just buy another bracelet. You can't replace a family heirloom. Especially one so cool. Wow, don't I get sidetracked. What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, the strange man! Duh.

He fiddled with things until they broke, constantly cursing himself, and I wish that I could say that he was doing it silently. After what must have been several more days of just watching him with interest and him growing ever madder (insane and angry) He said this.

"YES! I FINALLY HAVE IT! IT WORKS IT REALLY, REALLY WORKS! YES! I'M A GENIOUS, I'M BRILLIANT, I'M…lonely," he screamed until the end which he whispered.

"This isn't going to bring her back. I should just stay alone. Harm no more. Maybe one of my enemies will finally get the better of me and I'd just… leave." Okay, he just broke my heart right there.

"Well, even if that happens I still have to say goodbye," he said definitely, as if he had finally made up his mind about something. He plugged his creation into the console. Slowly I started to hear a voice. It was a girl's voice. And she was British. Well of course he was obsessing about a British girl. We are amazing after all.

After a few hours the people on the machine stopped talking. He had been listening to her conversations though which I thought was kind of stalker-ish. Like I said, madman. Then he pressed a button and started speaking. The basic idea was that he wanted the girl to come to some place that I didn't catch the name of. He kept repeating himself, but he was getting harder and harder to understand. It was like the machine was sucking his voice away and bringing it somewhere else. What else could he do that with? A whole person? The thought sent shivers up my spine.

A while later he started to mess with more and more things. A few of the levers he operated with his feet. In all actuality, he might be more than just a madman… I snapped back to attention when he started speaking again. Write in front of him was a blonde girl. She had a bit of overbite, but overall she was pretty. I'm not going to bore you with the contents of their conversation, but I will tell you the last bit.

"Rose Tyler I…" and then she disappeared. She had slowly faded away. The man (I'm getting tired of referring to him like this. I think I'll call him…John.), or John, just stared at where she had been for a moment then suddenly, starting out in a whisper and continuously getting louder said this.

"Love you. I Love You. I LOVE YOU, AND I DIDN'T TELL YOU! I have to get her back. And he tried. He tried and he tried. By the times he gave up, he was not only drenched in sweat from running around, but so was the floor all around the console. When he did give up he just collapsed and stared at the ceiling with a mixture of what seemed to be shame, heartbreak, guilt (and don't tell me that that is the same thing as shame because it isn't), and a desolate loneliness. I'm sure that if he had been more focused on his surroundings than his feelings then he would have noticed me, so even though I do feel bad for him, I'm glad at the same time.

*time break*

By now he had cleaned up the floor, changed his suit and stopped crying all the time. Still you could see it in his eyes though. A few times he'd see something and that look would disappear, and then he'd start talking, and look behind him to look for this Rose and she wouldn't be there and it would all come back again.

At one point he took a wallet, or at least I'm guessing that that is what it was, out of his pocket and looked at something. It looked like a piece of ordinary paper, but from this far away I couldn't tell what was written on it.

"Well I guess I better go see what that is," said John with a sigh.

I waited a few minutes after he left and he still wasn't back. I started to slowly climb down the coral at first then started to move quicker, ready to sprint down the nearest corridor if he decided to come back in or had forgotten something. When I got on the ground I again realized how hungry I was. I had three options

1) Leave and run like heck, risking getting caught by security or John.

2) Look around hoping to find a room full of food.

3) Or I could do this.

"Hello? Tardis?" I said uneasily. A picture of another random person, but not the same one as before came up as a hologram.

"I'm not your housekeeper. I will help you, but keep that in mind."

"Umm…okay?"

"What do you need Jenna."

"How do you know my name? I never told you my name."

"I looked it up. It's not hard Miss Smith."

"Oh." Now I felt awkward.

"What else do you know about me?"

"What do you need Miss Smith?"

"So you're just going to ignore my question?" She just tilted her head and stared at me sideways.

"Okay then. I need food. A lot of good food. Please," I added in because even though she is a machine she seemed to be getting short with me.

"Follow me." She sort of reminded me of Anthea from Sherlock. Oh God, I love that show. Anyways, I followed her as she almost walked straight into a wall. Remember when I said the walls just seemed to bend around her? This one did. The wall literally split in half so we could walk through. I started spinning in circles, looking at the walls, and still somehow managing to move forward at the same time.

"How did you do that?!" I asked amazed.

"That was awesome!" Still no response.

"It was brirrifying!" At that she clenched her jaw, obviously annoyed at my lack of using real words, but didn't say a word.

"Oh it was absatively posilutely brirrifying!"

"Okay. I get it. You like to use words that aren't real. So does The Doctor, but at least his make sense. You just clash words together that shouldn't mix! Ever! I get that you are related to one of his previous companions and you some how managed to have a _very_ small bit of the Doctor's DNA, but that does not mean that I should have to put up with you, climbing all over me and using these stupid words!"

"I'm sorry could you say that again? You talked to fast for me to understand too much of those normal words."

"_Just_. _Stop_. _Using_. _Fake_. _Words_." Then she mumbled something about me being insufferable.

"Okay if you insist," I said innocently. Then she spun on her heel and continued walking. After a few minutes we got there. There was a room filled with food.

"Call me when you are ready to go back," she said. I didn't really hear her though, because I was too busy taking in food heaven.


	6. What?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.**

**Oh how I love to piss off the Tardis…**

After I was done enjoying food heaven I collapsed on the ground (In another pile of food too.) With a full stomach I yet again realized something. I hadn't slept in a long time either. Maybe I could just take a nap…

Later I woke up with my side hurting, and I had no clue why. Then something dropped on it. "Ow!" I shouted looking up to see the Tardis standing above me.

"If you are a hologram, then how did you do that?" I asked bitterly.

"Like this!" she said, smiling as another block of metal dropped from the ceiling onto my stomach.

"Oi! Stop it, will ya" "Get up then."

"Okay, okay. How long have I been asleep?"

"Long enough that the Doctor came back, almost came in here twice and I wish he would've might I add, and left again about an hour ago."

"What! He almost found me! Gahhhhhhhh," I groaned/screamed.

"Is he here now?" I asked disdainfully.

"I wish. Then I wouldn't have to deal with you."

"Oh well aren't you absatively posilutely insufferable. You are so insufferable that it is almost brirrifying," I said in an over-dramatic voice. Oh how fun it is to screw with this jerk's head. Or mainframe. I'm still really confused about that part.

That made her grind her teeth together to wear it must have hurt. And yes I just said that a machine was most likely in pain. I didn't used to think that machines could have emotions. Then when I came here I debated it in my mind (or what was left of it anyway) and I decided then that it might be possible at the very least. Now I am 100% positive that it is possible, or at least with this machine. I know it's possible because I am definitely pissing her off. She is being driven insane and experiencing pure hatred at the exact same time. I wonder if she's running out of storage for emotions. I can imagine it now… _loading, loading. Can't find storage for emotions._ Hehe. Fun.

"But he did tell me that he would be back in twenty minutes, say… fifteen minutes ago?" You could literally hear the smirk in her voice, even if you couldn't see it.

"WHAT! I SWEAR I WILL KI- sorry, can't kill a machine, DESTROY YOU! AT SOME POINT IN TIME WHEN I AM NOT EXTRMELY FREAKED OUT! NOW TAKE ME BACK TO THE CONSLOE ROOM! Now," I screamed my throat out till the last part, which even with my, now sore hurting-like-heck throat, still managed to sound threatening. I wasn't going to admit it to her, but I was scared. I came to a box that is bigger on the inside with her here. I would be actually insane if I wasn't at least a little freaked out by all this, I thought with the fear of being discovered.

By that point realization dawned on me that I was wasting my time day dreaming.

"Take. Me. Back," I growled with a coarse voice.

"Oh, if I must," she said quite happily as I thought of how delightful it would be to hit her upside the head with a heavy metal pipe. Heavier than my baseball bat. If only she weren't a hologram…

"Follow me," she sighed, obviously wanting to leave me here to have John find me. As she started to walk slowly towards our destination I snapped. If I had not already snapped that is.

"Get me where I want to go, NOW. If you don't I could very easily make your life miserable, filled with made-up words and other insufferable things. Understand?"I know, not much of a threat to most people. It seemed fit for her though.

"Whatever," she said, but the look in her eye had changed. She opened up a path in front of me, and I saw the console ahead. I sprinted there and started to once again climb the coral. When I was about halfway up I heard something at the door. It sounded as if someone was trying to get in. I hurried up, making a mental note to thank the Tardis later, if she wasn't being too annoying that is. Just as I got to the top John came in looking bored with a loneliness in his eyes, though even though there was "no one" around, it was obvious that he was trying to hide it.

I watched him for a few hours, being just a bit bored. After a while I almost dozed off, then remembered not to because he would see me if I did. Then it happened.

This woman with ginger hair and a wedding dress on appeared in the Tardis. (It's weird to talk about the Tardis as a person and a place.) Well, should I say appeared? She came in this golden light and sort of faded into view from that point.

"What?"

"Who are you two?"

"What?" he said, following her gaze, which was switching between us, and turned to look at me.

"Where am I?"

"What?" he said, turning back to her every time she spoke then turning back to me again.

"What the h*** is this place?!"

"What?"

**Thank you everyone! I finally managed to put myself (or at least who I cosplay as) in the story! Hope you all liked it and I will continue with this later. And I am going to stop apologizing for the short chapters because I am doing my best and none of you seem to be complaining.**


	7. The Bloody Bride (no blood involved)

**So sorry about the bleeped out cussing, but I do not cuss, nor am I aloud, so if you are reading this you will just have to deal with it.**

**Also, for the complicated/long words in this I used . It is actually very useful when I like to confuse the readers.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who. Yet…**

He was stunned. He looked at us switching his gaze from one to the other, debating on what to do. Since I had obviously been here a while he decided to deal with the ginger bride. Who also happens to be Scottish.

"You can't do that, I wasn't. We're in flight, that is- that is physically impossible, how did-"

"One of you tell me where I am! I demand you tell me right now where am I?!"

"Inside the Tardis."

"The what?"

"The Tardis," I said, making John glare at me and Donna evermore annoyed.

"The what?"

"The Tardis!" he said. As he was getting over the shock of us he seemed to be getting more and more annoyed. It's never good to annoy a madman, I thought to myself.

"The what?"

"Oh my God. It is called the Tardis! Why can you not get this through your thick head?!" said I to the bloody angry bride.

"That's not even a proper word! You're just saying things!"

"While I do tend to do that this word happens to be real. A hologram came from the machine, taking a picture from the mainframe, and then it told me itself!"

"How did either of you get in here!" And John speaks once again.

"Well, obviously, when you kidnapped us!" She seemed to get it through her thick skull that John and I did not know each other.

"Who was it? Who's paying you? Is it Nerys? Oh my God, she's finally got me back. I don't know what she did to her, but this has got Nerys written _all_ over it."

"Who the heck is Nerys?" John and I said unanimously.

"Your best friend," she said with none less the attitude of before, though it was obviously pointed at John.

I don't know why I'm not arguing with her. I should be helping John. He didn't kidnap me. But with the Tardis and all its weird functions, he could have very well kidnapped her. Okay, I'll stick with the ginger. And if you are wondering I don't hate gingers. My mother was ginger…

"Hold on, wait a minute. What are you dressed like that for?" John asked, oblivious to the fact that she was obviously getting married.

"She's taking a swim. What do you think you idiot?! She's getting married!"

"I was halfway up the isle dumbo! I've been waiting all my life for this. I was seconds away, and then you, I don't know, you drugged me or something!" I was actually quite enjoying this.

"I haven't done anything! To either of you!" He said getting tired of all this.

"I'm having the police on you! Me and my husband, as soon as he is my husband, we're gonna sue the livin' backside off a you!" At that moment she had finally decided to go outside, which I am much surprised that she didn't do that earlier. Or at least I would be if she wasn't so thick.

"No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Don't!" I don't know why he was so worked up. Maybe he really did kidnap her. Did it just get colder in here or was it just that thought coming to mind?

Then she opened the door.

"Where are we?" I asked, my voice tight. "Where are we?!"

"You're in space. Outer space. This is my spaceship. It's called the Tardis."

"That's impossible when I walked in-" I was cut short by the _bloody, thick_ bride.

"How am I breathing?"

"The Tardis is protecting you. Oh and while we're on the subject of the Tardis, how did you get in here?" he said looking at me.

"She- Sorry _it_ was unlocked. She said she let me in because the Doctor would want to talk to me."

"Well that's me. I'm the Doctor. Before you ask I am just the Doctor, and we can get this all sorted out later, but for the current moment, who are you two?"

"Donna."

"And I'm Katherine." I didn't want to tell him my real name. Stranger Danger, ya know?

"Human?"

"Is that really optional?" I said as Donna said, "Yeah. Is that optional?"

"Well it is for me."

"You're an alien?"

"Isn't that sort of obvious since he is flying around in a space ship and literally just said that being human was optional for him?" That one earned me a glare from them both.

"Yeah, I'm alien."

"It's freezing with these doors open."

"Of course that is one of the things you get through your so thick skull," I mumbled under my breath, and still got glares.

The Doctor shut the doors and started to run back up the ramp to the console. Or more of a jog anyway, but run suited what happened next better.

My bat had apparently rolled out from behind the coral while we were in flight, which is where I had placed it, thinking that we weren't going up into SPACE SPACE SPACE SPACE. Sorry, I just love the echo effect. (Yet my computer continues to say delete repeated word. Well, my computer is officially being a jerk I wonder if the Tardis set this up…)

Anyways back to the bat. It had rolled into the center of the walkway and the Doctor landed perfectly on the bat, instantaneously falling backwards. (Oh how fun it is to use big words and confuse people. Almost as fun as using fake words.) The Doctor slipped backwards, his head hitting the floor first with the foot that had landed on the bat high in the air. His foot apparently had a lot more momentum then I expected and it flipped him over. Not quite a face plant, but close enough.

Then he groaned, "How did that get there?"

"Sorry," I managed to convey through my bursts of laughter. Donna and I were practically rolling on the ground laughing. He slowly got up and glared at us while he cracked his back. Then, after kicking the bat _very_ far to the side, he walked back to the console.

"Anyways, I don't understand what happened with you Donna, and I understand everything. It can't happen! There is no way a human being can lock itself onto the Tardis and transport inside. It must be-" As he's saying this he grabs some weird tool and looks at Donna's eyes with it.

"-impossible. Some sort of subatomic connection? Something in the temporal field? Maybe something pulling you into alignment with the Chronon shell. Maybe something macro mining your DNA within the interior matrix. Maybe a genetic-"

Donna had slapped him, leaving a shocked and unbelieving look on his face.

"What was that for!" he asked switching his glare from her to me as I laughed. I mean how couldn't I. It was such a laughable moment.

"GET ME TO THE CHURCH!" It was no longer a laughable moment.

"RIGHT! FINE! I don't want you here anyway! Where is this wedding?"

"Saint Mary's, Hayden Road, Chiswick, London, England, Earth, the Solar System!" It was quite funny to watch their little yelling match. I started to back away, hoping to go unnoticed into some place like the wardrobe.

"Oi, where are you goin'?!" asked Donna who was now getting a death stare out of me.

"He kidnapped you too, he should take you back to where you were!"

"I thought I made it clear earlier that I came in here of my own free will."

"You should still go."

"I don't care. I'm staying till I get kicked out," I said defiantly.

"Well, you are getting "kicked out" as soon as we get rid of her," said the Doctor. I had forgotten he was there during my conversation with Donna. Weird. Just a little bit cool. Or at least it was until Donna decided to pick up the person that the Doctor had been wailing about, what was it… oh yeah, Rose's old shirt.

"I knew it, acting all innocent. We weren't the first, were we? How many woman have you abducted?!"

The Doctor looked up with a weary look that was sick at heart. That's when I took Donna by the soldiers, spun her around to face me, and I slapped her as hard as humanly possible, and possibly even harder.

"What-what?" she asked clearly shocked.

"What the h*** was that for!" she said recomposing herself a bit.

"For being such an obnoxious sleazy, bloody thick bride!"

"Excuse me?!"

"You heard me! You are oblivious! Can you not see how upset he is?! He loved the girl who that belonged to, and you think he kidnapped her? You little," I grumbled for a minute, not wanting to cuss because at home, if I cussed, I would have my phone and I would have sweets taken away from me for at least a month. My fez too, even though I don't have it anymore. I'd rather not get into the habit of cussing.

"-ignoramus," I said, the word just rolling off my tongue when I have heard it only about once before in a fanfiction that I was reading. I'm not completely sure what it means, but it sounded about right.

"What?" asked Donna, exasperated that she didn't know what it meant. Where are these words coming from?!

"Just forget about it." (Heh, love that song. If you are into punk or pop music, because that song sort of sounds like pop to me, you should look it up. Forget About It by All Time Low)

"Then, if you're so smart, where is she?" she said, sure that I was baffled.

I through her shirt to the side and then said, "He lost her. And she can never come back."  
"Is that true?" she asked the Doctor, doubtless that I was wrong.

"Yes," he said, his voice cracking a bit as he said it.

"Well, let's get you to the church, shall we?"

**I finished today. Hope you enjoy, and I will try to keep updating every other day. And PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEASE REVIEW. They are fun to read, plus I would like advice on the story.**


	8. Sonic Screwdrivers and Santas

The Tardis landed, making a weird noise as it did so. Oddly enough, it was clearly the same noise I heard in the alleyway that I found my fez. Oh how I miss my fez.

Donna had gone outside and as she started to talk I did too.

"I said Saint Mary's. What sort of Martian are you?! Where's this?!" said Donna, peeved off because she was missing her wedding.

"Something's wrong with her. The Tardis, it's like she's-" he paused to run back to the Tardis.

"-Recalibrating! She's digesting. What is it? What have you eaten? What's wrong? Donna? You've really got to think. Is there anything that might've caused this?" Donna didn't respond with the sassy comment that seems to come at this sort of time, so I turned to look at her. She wasn't there. I jogged outside to look for Donna and found her circling the Tardis.

I had forgotten that she had appeared inside the Tardis and didn't know about the whole bigger on the inside part of it. Opps.

"Donna, come back inside."

"Not a chance," she said, emotionally unstable from the shock. How could I embrace it so easily and she practically runs away?

"Come on Donna," I said practically begging her, though I don't know why. I don't even like Donna! Even so, I stepped in front of her to block her way.

"Donna, he can help you." Why I am bothering to do this? I don't even want to help her! While debating or not whether or not I should help her, I heard the Doctor say/yell, "-zip around his forehead, is he? Donna!" At that point Donna was no longer in front of me. Huh. She must have walked around me as I was daydreaming.

I spun around on my heel and ran to catch up with her, the Doctor close behind me. Not like she was far ahead.

"Donna."

"Leave me alone. I just want to get married," she said, dejected about the fact that she is late to her _own _wedding.

"And he is trying to get you to the church, so you can get married, and I never have to see you again." Death glare time!

"Come back to the Tardis."

"No way. That box is too, weird."

"It's just bigger on the inside, that's all."

"Only that?" I said dramatically. "You idiot," I said receiving a death glare from the Doctor.

"Oh! That's all? Ten past three. I'm going to miss it." She said it so desolately. It seemed to be breaking her heart. For once I actually felt sorry for Donna.

"You can phone them. Tell them where you are."

"And how do I do that?"

"Haven't you got a mobile?" He said it as if it were only that simple. I face palmed.

"It doesn't have pockets," I whispered, mostly to myself.

"I'm in my wedding dress. It doesn't have pockets. Who has pockets? Have you ever seen a bride with pockets? When I went to my fitting at Chez Alison, the one thing I forgot to say is give me pockets!" Well, even though the Doctor was being _extremely _thick, her response to the situation was quite funny. I even laughed a bit. Silently of course, because I wouldn't want to ruin the dramatic moment that was currently in progress.

"What about you?" he asked me.

"My aunt took it away because I was pissing her off." He just pushed that comment to the side.

"This man you're marring. What's his name?"

"Lance," she said dreamily. Ugh. I _really _don't understand people. Why do they even want to get married anyway? Less freedom, less fun, more responsibilities, etc., etc. I DON'T UNDERSTAND! Not like I want to.

"Good luck Lance," said the Doctor. I shrieked with a short burst of laughter, with the mixture of my thoughts and his words. Of course I got _another _death glare from Donna. She loves to glare at me with the threat of murder in her eyes, doesn't she?

"Oi! No stupid Martian is going to stop me from getting married!" He's trying to help you…

"To h*** with you!" then ran away. If there were people around she surely would have made a scene.

"I'm, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not from Mars." He said desolately. Donna doesn't care anyway. Then we took off after Donna.

By the time we caught up to her she was on the street calling for a taxi.

"Taxi!" It drove past.

"Why's his light on?" Does she know how bad this looks? Well, obviously not.

"There's another one!" yelled the Doctor. He was trying to help, but that just made it even worse.

"Taxi! Oi!" By this point I was trying to hide my face as much as possible, hoping that no one had seen me with them.

"There's one!"

"OI!"

"Do you have this effect on everyone? Why aren't they stopping?" Probably, I thought. Then I remembered what this must look like to nearby citizens of Earth. Yet I still thought that she probably had this effect on people.

"They think I'm in fancy dress." That is _not _it

"Stay off the sauce, darling!" said the cabbie.

"They think I'm drunk." Well considering how you're acting, it is a reasonable assumption.

"You're fooling no one, mate!" said some guys in a passing car.

"They think I'm in drag!" By now I am just trying to ignore this, delete it from my mind…

"Hold on, hold on," said the Doctor. Then he whistled deafeningly. He could have at least warned me! And hold on is not a warning in this case. I was standing right next to him! Yes I blast my music, but it isn't nearly as high pitched as a whistle!

Well, at least a cabbie finally pulled over. While still hiding my face, I was pulled into the car. I was between the Doctor and Donna. While running that horrifying fact over in my head with my ears still ringing from the whistle I missed most of the conversation. The word "pockets!" snapped me out of my daydream. That was unfortunate, because after that was a large bout of cussing, that I refuse to repeat for the sake of my sanity. Then the three of us practically fell out of the car.

"And that goes double, for your mother! I'll have him. I've got his number. I'll have him. Talk about the Christmas spirit."

"Is it Christmas?" said the Doctor as I said, "Already?" I sure have missed a lot, haven't I? Oh, you don't know when I left, do you whoever's reading this? It was late in October when I came to the Tardis.

"Well, duh. Maybe not on Mars, but here it's Christmas Eve. Phone box! We can reverse the charges!" Well, unless she has started to assume that I am also Martian (even though the Doctor isn't) she is just ignoring me. Fine then Donna. I see how it is.

She went over to the phone box with us trailing her.

"How come you're getting married on Christmas Eve?"

"Can't bear it. I hate Christmas. Honeymoon, Morocco. Sunshine, lovely. What's the operator? I've not done this in years. What do you dial? 100?" Well, I agree with her on the sunshine.

Then the Doctor pulled out some weird tool thing, pointed it at the phone, and it started to glow blue and make this weird noise.

"Just call the direct."

"What did you do?" asked Donna and I in unison.

"Something Martian. Now phone. I'll get money!" He ran over to get in line for the ATM, looking impatient. I decided to stay with Donna, since she's, ya know, human.

"Oh, answer the phone!" *Donna sighs. "Mum, get off the phone and listen. I'm in… Oh, my God, I don't know where I am! It's a street, and there's WH Smith but it's definitely Earth."

As she hung up I said' "She doesn't know that you ever left Earth Donna." She snorted at me (like a pig!) and walked over to someone on the street.

"Excuse me. I'm begging you. I'm getting married, I really am and I'm late and I just need to borrow a tenner and I'll pay you back I promise and it's Christmas," she said practically begging.

"Donna, what are you doing?" I said as I walked up.

"Getting to my wedding," she said defiantly.

"The Doctor is getting money now."

"Yeah, well the sooner I'm rid of you two _Martians _the better," she said whispering the Martians part. Well, at least I now know that she wasn't ignoring me.

As she called for a cab, I ran over to the Doctor to tell him what Donna was doing.

Before I got there Donna yelled to him, "Thanks for nothing spaceman! I'll see you in Court."

"Donna!" screamed the Doctor and I in sync. (I got tired of using the word unison over and over and over…) Then I turned to see the Santas that had just been playing Christmas music had stopped and were now pointing there instruments at the Doctor and me. The Doctor had apparently seen them too, so he pointed that weird glowing tool at the ATM and money started to fly everywhere.

"What is that thing?!" I asked curious.

"Sonic screwdriver," he said matter-of-factly with a smile on his face. He sprinted off back to the Tardis with me close behind. I'll have to ask him more about that sonic, uhh, screwdriver! Yes that was it. I'll have to ask him more about that _sonic screwdriver_ later.

When we got to the Tardis the Doctor immediately started to tie things together, pressing several buttons and pulling just as many levers. I was 99% sure he had no clue what he was doing. Then we took off.

As soon as we took off I was flung to the side by gravity, hitting my head on a piece of coral.

"Owwww," I said, carrying it out in a groan. I looked up and the Doctor was hitting the Tardis with a hammer. When did he get a hammer? I most have blacked out a bit. Crap.

"Behave!" With black spots dancing in front of my eyes it was hard to see what was going on. As they cleared I saw the Doctor run to the door and push it open, holding a string in his mouth. I tried to get up again, just to fall back down because of the jerking Tardis.

"Open the door!" the Doctor yelled. Okay, I am getting up this time. I got up and managed to make my way to the door, and what did I see? Donna, in her cab, on the motorway.

"Do what?"

"Open the door!"

"I can't, it's locked!" The Doctor took out his sonic screwdriver and managed to unlock the window. Or make it to where Donna could get it open anyways. If he could do that, why couldn't he unlock the door?

"Santa's a robot." What was that supposed to mean? Then I looked at her cabbie and immediately understood.

"Donna, open the door."

"What for?" she said, stating what I was thinking.

"You have to jump!"

"WHAT! WHY SHOULD SHE DO THAT?!" Then I looked at the "cabbie" again and understood.

"Actually Donna, you do have to jump."

"I'm not blinking flip jumping. I'm supposed to be getting married!" As she said that her cab sped away. The Doctor pulled the string he had and there were a few more bangs from the console, and then we sped up to be next to the cab again.

"Listen to me. You've got to jump."

"I'm not jumping on a motorway."

"Whatever that thing is, it needs you. And whatever it needs you for, it's not good! Now, come on!"

"Stop being stubborn and do it Donna!"

"I'm in my wedding dress!"

"Yes, you look lovely! Come on!" Later when recalling that moment I laughed.

She opened the door looking frightened.

"I can't do it."

"Trust me."

"Is that what you said to her? Your friend? The one you lost?" Nice way to bring up a sore subject Donna.

"Did she trust you?"

"Yes, she did. And she is not dead. She is so alive. Now, jump!" What an inspiring little speech.

As Donna jumped I quickly stepped backward, almost falling again. I'm glad I did, because she landed on the Doctor.

"Awww. How cute," I said to piss them off. Mission successful. Donna got up in a hurry, in the process kneeing him in the stomach, and then later stepping on his stomach. Then the Tardis doors slammed shut shutting out the prying eyes of the world.

The Doctor stayed on the floor for a while, since Donna had knocked the wind out of him. After a few minutes and a few cars colliding with the Tardis, he propped himself up on one elbow and said, "Anyone else want to get out of the street?"

**Sorry it took so long. It was better the 1st time, but I didn't remember what I had put after my computer deleted it so… yeah. Thank you to everyone who has viewed this, Especially Abby. Thank you Abby. I shall kill, sorry, _talk_ to you later. And (this part is for you Abby)**

**POTATOES SHALL RULE THE WORLD!**


	9. Standing On The Rooftop (not falling)

**Does anyone know why I make Jenna with such a bad attitude?**

Okay. I am going to skip the boring, awkward silence in the Tardis, and just get to the rooftop. (And yes, you heard me right. Donna was silent.)

We ran outside because the Tardis started smoking. The Doctor grabbed a fire extinguisher and started to blast it through the Tardis doors as Donna and I stayed outside. Donna looked at her watch and her eyes started to water. We had missed the wedding.

I put my arm around her shoulders and said in almost a whisper, "I'm sorry, Donna." Yes, I was being nice to Donna. And I felt bad for her. Cut me some slack, okay! The girl just missed her own wedding.

She wiped the tears off her face, and went back to being stubborn as ever.

"Yeah, ok."

"The funny thing is, for a spaceship, she doesn't really do that much flying. We'd better give her a couple of hours. You all right?"

"Doesn't matter." THIS IS SO DEPRESSING!

"Did we miss it?"

"Yeah," she said as I nodded. Oh, and sorry. I was wrong. She wasn't as stubborn as ever, just trying to be.

"Well, you can book another date." True, but it wouldn't be right.

"Course we can."

"You've still got the honeymoon." And what's the point of that if they aren't married?

"It's just a holiday now." Exactly.

"Yeah. Yeah. Sorry."

'It's not your fault.'

"Oh? That's a change." Well. He was brightening the mood. Just a little bit, but whatever works.

"Wish you had a time machine, then we could go back and get it right."

DOCTOR: Yeah, yeah. But even if I did, I couldn't go back on someone's personal timeline. Apparently." He said that with extreme uncertainty. If it wasn't such a bad time right now, then I would've yelled 'THICK!' right in Donna's face. Wait, sorry. Does that mean that the Doctor has a _time machine_? Oh my freakin God.

Anyways, back to the present. Donna and I sat down on the roof. The Doctor put his jacket around Donna. Such a romantic gesture to someone else's fiancé.

"God you're skinny. This wouldn't fit a rat!" I had to laugh at that one. Someone actually laughing made Donna smile, automatically brightening the mood.

"Oh, and you'd better put this on," said the Doctor while handing Donna a gold ring. I thought he didn't like Donna…

"Oh, do you have to rub it in?" Oh Donna.

"Those creatures can trace you. This is a bio-damper. Should keep you hidden. With this ring, I thee bio-damp." Oh, that's why. I THOUGHT NOTHING!

"For better or for worse. So, come on then. Robot santas, what are they for?"

"I take it that it's not to give out presents," I said rhetorically. And I just found out that rhetorically is a real word. WHYYYYYYY!

"Ah, your basic robo scavenger. The Father Christmas stuff is just a disguise. They're trying to blend in. I met them last Christmas."

"Why, what happened then?" said Donna, stating my thoughts. This has happened before. IS SHE READING MY MIND?! Naww, I thought. Donna's too thick for that.

"Great big spaceship over London? Neither of you noticed?"

"I had a bit of a hangover"

"I was on vacation." I think you know which one of us said which. And if you think that it was me with a hangover, then you are as thick as Donna.

"I spent Christmas Day just over there, the Powell Estate, with this family. My friend, she had this family. Well, they were. Still, gone now. Sadness.

"Your friend, who was she?" Are you trying to make your life less miserable, by asking him something that is making him miserable, or are you just that thick?

"Question is, what do camouflaged robot mercenaries want with you? And how did you get inside the Tardis? I don't know. What's your job?" Nice way to change the subject. That just proves my point though.

"I'm a secretary." SOOOOOOOOOO DULL! Then the Doctor started to, uhh, I think the right word hear would be scan. He started to scan her with the sonic screwdriver.

"It's weird. I mean, you're not special, you're not powerful, you're not connected, you're not clever, you're not important."

"This friend of yours. Just before she left, did she punch you in the face? Stop bleeping me!" again, another burst of laughter. I hate Donna, but she is funny at points like this.

"What kind of secretary?"

"I'm at HC Clements. It's where I met Lance. I was temping." Then she started to stare off into space. It felt like if we followed her gaze, then we could see it too. I hate it when people do that.

The she said dreamily, "I mean, it was all a bit posh really. I'd spent the last two years at a double glazing firm. Well, I thought I'm never going to fit in here. And then he made me a coffee. I mean, that just doesn't happen. Nobody gets the secretaries a coffee." Yeah, and by now he's probably regretting that. Oh, and ugh.

She stopped looking into the distance and said, "And Lance, he's the head of HR! He don't need to bother with me. But he was nice, he was funny." Doesn't Donna. Doesn't. And shouldn't have.

And again with the dreamy glazed look, but this time, not staring into space. She was obviously recalling memories.

Then she said, "And it turns out he thought everyone else was really snotty too. So that's how it started, me and him. One cup of coffee. That was it.

"When was this?"

"Six months ago."

"Bit quick to get married."

"Well, he insisted." I doubt that. I highly doubt that. She was probably on her knees begging him. I wonder if he's getting paid for this… Another reason to think that is that she said it weird, like she was either lying or hiding something. Don't tell me they are the same thing, because they aren't. When lying you are always hiding something, but when hiding something you don't always have to lie. Therefore, there is a difference. Don't think that I am distracting you from much with this mini lecture. During my daydream anything said was by Donna, and it was all about how Lance 'begged' her to marry him. I was jolted out of my daydream when the Doctor started talking though, because things he says either deserve a punch, or are interesting.

"What does HC Clements do?" Well, I was wrong on that one.

"Oh, security systems. You know, entry codes, ID cards, that sort of thing. If you ask me, it's a posh name for locksmiths." You just love the word posh, don't you? What does it even mean?!

"Keys." I like his version better.

"Anyway, enough of my CV. Come on, it's time to face the consequences. Oh, this is going to be so shaming. You can do the explaining, Martian boy. Or the other Martian over here staring at me like I'm a massive idiot."

"Yeah, I'm not from Mars," said the Doctor and me in unison. Oh, here I go again with the word unison! WHYYYYYY!

"Oh, I had this great big reception all planned. Everyone's going to be heartbroken." I'm sure.

Then I added, "Oh, and by the way, I'm not even alien."

"Whatever." AHA! I BEAT HER! Not like it's very hard…

Anyways, we got into the Tardis to head for the reception. The Doctor and Donna weren't saying much of anything interesting, so I decided to interrupt.

"Okay, three things. One is that I lost my bracelet and my fez. They got stolen. At some point I would like someone to help me get them back, preferably not the person that thinks I'm a Martian. Also, your small talk is very boring, may I have a set of headphones?"

"That was two things," said Donna thickly. Well, actually it wasn't that thick of her. It did only sound like two things.

"Wrong. I first declared that my stuff had been stolen. Then I said that I wanted help to get it back. Then, I asked for a pair of headphones. Three things," I said cheerfully.

Then of course the Doctor makes the comment, "You live in England. Why do you wear a fez?"

"Why don't you?" Ah, how I love to answer questions with questions. After a brief pause for his thoughtful face he said, "Wait here a minute. I'll be right back."

"Please hurry, before I kill Donna," I said partly joking. Key word partly. He was gone for a few minutes, in which Donna and I didn't speak at all.

"Then he came back with a phone-like thing in his hand and said, "Here. It has every song ever sung on here. And when we're done with this whole mix-up, I would be happy to help you get your stuff back."

"Thanks," I said, for the first time in my life truly grateful.

"Of course, after that I'm going to take you home."

"Nice way to ruin the moment," I said.

"Still, thank you. I appreciate it. And I am sure that you will never hear those words leave my mouth again, so savor it while it lasts." That caused them both to chuckle.

"We'll be there soon. Listen to the music when you can, not when we're there." And on that note I climbed the coral and laid my head back. Out of every song in the universe, what should I listen to? I chose one and heard, "It's Courtney b****." Ratatat works.

**Okay, I was going to make it longer, but I haven't updated in a while so I thought I'd just end it here. Thank you to those who have followed and/or viewed this story. Yet even the people who have followed or favorite it don't seem to leave reviews…**

**Oh and also, I wouldn't know Ratatat by Fall Out Boy if it weren't for my friend Destiny. She gets very picky on whether or not I tell people that.**


	10. The Reception Of Lies

Okay, we got there, exited the Tardis, and walked in. There was probably some conversation going on right there, but I was still listening to music, so if there was I didn't hear it. Once inside, we walked up to find a bunch of people dancing. That's no big deal, right? Then I turned to look at Donna, and after seeing her face I thought it best to take off the headphones and start listening to the conversation. Yeah, it was that bad.

When the people stopped dancing and started to notice Donna they looked startled.

"You had the reception, without me?"

"Donna, what happened to you?" they asked, worried and just a bit unbelieving. Okay, maybe a bit more than a bit.

"You had the reception without me?!" Well. I thought she was sassy before. Oh, and emotional too. She looked heartbroken.

"Hello. I'm the Doctor." And I thought that Donna had bad timing. Her timing was apparently nothing compared to his. I punched him in the arm.

"Ow" he complained looking at me. I was physically glaring and mentally laughing. Best way to do things, isn't it?

"They had the reception without me," she said, pointing the statement towards us. Can she not get over that fact?

"Yes, I gathered." You couldn't tell, but on the inside I was laughing at that comment. Oh, how fun. Except, this time while inwardly laughing I was not glaring. Just nodding, pretending to understand why she was so worked up.

"Well, it was all paid for. Why not?" Well, she's a jerk-face. I like that insult. Jerk-face. Do my thoughts seem random to you right now?

"Thank you, Nerys."

"Oh, so this is the famous Nerys that we've heard so much about," I said mostly to myself, but it was so quiet at the time that everyone heard me. Oops.

"What?" asked Nerys. Then everything erupted.

"Well, what were we supposed to do? I got your silly little message in the end. I'm on Earth? Very funny. What the h*** happened? How did you do it? I mean, what's the trick, because I'd love to know."

"Told you Donna," I said innocently. That got me a death glare. Oh, and I was wrong. This is when everything really erupted into chaos. And after that I didn't really get much of what anyone said besides one person.

He said, "Where were you the whole time?" Ok, I was wrong. He asked that, he didn't say it. Sorry for the incorrect grammar. Though I seriously doubt that you care that much. But you might, I don't know.

On the note of what that person had said, Donna started to _cry._ Seriously? Seriously. Can you say fragile? Then the man that had said that sentence/asked that question came up and hugged her (so he was presumably Lance) and everyone started to applaud. Except Nerys that is. I like her even less than Donna! And who can be worse than Donna?! Well, apparently Nerys can! Then of course Donna winked at the Doctor and me, so we knew that the crying bit was completely fake. Ok then. She was still fragile though. I mean, just consider how she first acted in the Tardis! Stubbornness is something to hide fragileness. I should know. Um, did I say that? Nope, I SAID NOTHING! Meant thought nothing. Anyways, it was a nice act. I applaud you Donna. I applaud you. In my head though. I would never applaud to you out loud. Not like you can hear this.

*short boring time break*

Donna took the boring root and stayed with her fiancé, so I decided to go with the Doctor. That wasn't much fun either. He just watched everyone dancing in silence. Bor-ing! He looked at me watching him them turned and gestured to a man holding a smart phone (oh how I miss my phone), basically asking to use it. The man let him borrow his phone. After a few minutes (before I got to see what he was doing) he handed it back to the man he had borrowed it from. Then he looked back at the dancers and got this glazed look in his eyes. The look of memories. Anyways, I was bored, he wasn't saying anything and the song was just about completely awful. I was about to put my headphones back on when I saw something of importance. There was a man with a camera, recording. He must have been recording the would-be wedding too, right?

"Doctor," I said shaking him out of his memories.

"Hmm?"

"If that guy is recording now, wouldn't he have been recording the wedding too?" The Doctor got a thoughtful look and walked quickly up to the cameraman. I sighed. No acknowledgement for me. By the time I got over to them they were already talking.

"Oh, I taped the whole thing. They've all had a look. They said sell it to You've Been Framed. I said, more like the News. Here we are." He showed the Doctor and me the tape. In it Donna turned into golden sparkling light and flew off. Though the cameraman didn't know, she flew away into the Tardis.

"Can't be. Play it again?"

"Clever, mind. Good trick, I'll give her that. I was clapping." Idiot.

"But that looks like Huon Particles." Oh look, more words that I don't understand!

"What's that then?"

"That's impossible. That's ancient. Huon energy doesn't exist anymore, not for billions of years. So old that it can't be hidden by a biodamper!" He started that sentence at normal speed, slowed down, and then sped up extremely fast. As he ran to the door, I remembered something. That ring that he gave Donna. He had called it a biodamper. We're screwed.

The Doctor ran back in yelling, "Donna! Donna, they've found you!"

"But you said I was safe."

"The bio-damper doesn't work. We've got to get everyone out."

"My God, it's all my family."

"Out the back door!" I was so shocked that I didn't move. That really didn't matter though because after a few minutes they came back.

"Get away from the tree!"

"Don't touch the trees!" Why the tree?

"Get away from the Christmas trees! Everyone get away from them! Everyone stay away from the trees! Stay away from the trees!"

"Oh, for God's sakes, the man's an idiot. Why? What harm's a Christmas tree going to- oh." Apparently it wasn't the physical Christmas tree that was going to hurt us. It was the decorations. They started to fly off of the tree and floated around the room. Everyone stared at them in awe, but considering that the Doctor says that they're dangerous, I was terrified. I started to move slowly away. Then the decorations started to focus in on people and attack. It was chaos, but somehow through the chaos and screaming (possibly partly from me) I was able to hide behind a table and not get injured.

Then I heard the Doctor say, "Oi! Santa! Word of advice. If you're attacking a man with a sonic screwdriver, don't let him near the sound system." Then he jammed the screwdriver into the sound system, and nearly burst my eardrums. It soon stopped, but with my ears still ringing, I missed the fact that someone was majorly hurt. In fact several people were hurt. Yet I was unscathed. I'm so confused.

"Never mind all that. You're a doctor. People have been hurt."

"Nah, they wanted you alive. Look." I was still behind the table, just leaning against it, so I had no clue what he was showing her.

"They're not active now." Oh, it must be one of those decoration thingies.

"All I'm saying, you could help." Could, should, and won't. Jerk.

"Got to think of the bigger picture. There's still a signal!" He started to run outside, but suddenly stopped. I decided to start getting up and see why. Then of course he started to run outside again with Donna trailing behind.

Then he ran back inside and started to call, "Katherine. Katherine!

"Who in the Devil's name is Katherine?"

Then staring at me with caution, he slowly said, "Well, I thought it was you."

"Oh, yeah." Aren't I screwed.

**Sorry for the short chapter, I just had to get this up. Oh, and I am trying to make everything a bit longer by revising it 2 or 3 times adding stuff. That's one reason it took so long. That and I don't have much time to write, but I am doing my best.**


	11. What's With the Segways?

The Doctor walked over to me slowly.

"What are you?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Hehe. Now I'm the sassy one.

"What species?" he said, getting a bit frustrated. With the fact that I am annoying _and_ the fact that I had lied to him.

"Human. I thought we established that earlier." I said like it was obvious. which it was. If you would bother recalling the memory, *looks off into the distance then the memory ripples into view. Or going back to a previous chapter. I guess that one might be a bit easier. Especially if you have short term memory.

"Yes, but earlier, we had also established that your name was Katherine." He was saying this so slowly and quietly. That's how you knew that it was bad. And by the look in his eyes. There was a sort of guarded look in his eyes, like I was his enemy. Like I had betrayed him. Like it was me that took Rose away from him. Okay, actually that one could be going a bit far.

"Oh yeah, huh," I said, carrying out the last word.

"Well, I wasn't lying about the human part."

"And why should I believe you?" He was being very cautious in this conversation, wasn't he? Does he actually think that I am his enemy?

"You have no reason to. But, if you'd like to double check, you can scan me with your screwdriver thing." Well, he's still not going to trust me for a while, but he might trust me a bit more if he confirms that I am human. Wait. Can his screwdriver even determine whether or not I'm human?

Anyways, I leaned against the wall, crossed my arms, and stared at him defiantly as he scanned me with his sonic screwdriver. I sort of want one of those. It could be helpful.

"Well, you are human. What else were you lying to me about besides your name though?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all." Well, it's true.

"So before you came to the Tardis you had no clue who I was?" Does he need to ask that?

"Not a clue. How would I?"

"Well, I'll have to establish whether or not you are lying later. You can still come with me though."

"Oh yay! I guess you would've missed me too much if you didn't keep me around," I said sassier than Donna. Am I helping my situation right now, or destroying it?

He blushed furiously. That makes me think that I might be helping it a little bit. Yes!

"I would _not_ miss you. I just can't trust you not to run off while I'm gone," he said defiantly. And a bit daring also. Like he was challenging me. No. I never accept a challenge that could end as bad as this one surely would.

"Whatever. Just don't make me go home yet. This is _sooooo_ much better than my dull life. Emphasis on dull. Oh, and stop treating me like I'm a puppy please." I smiled. I think that I am starting to annoy him. I suppose that's better than him thinking of me as an enemy.

"You will go home, but I won't make you leave yet. But I'm going to ask you this question again, and if I find out that you are lying, you will go home straight away."

"Okay, I'll do pretty much anything not to go home." Though I said it with a smile, it wasn't a lie.

"What's your name? And why did you hide it from me before?" he asked, for the first question cautious, and genuinely curious for the second one.

I thought about the question for a minute. Should I tell him my real name? Well, I don't want to go home…

"Jenna. My name is Jenna Smith, just ask the Tardis. Or look it up, I don't care. And for why I didn't tell you before," I paused biting my lip, not sure whether or not I should say the next part.

"Well, if you just met a strange man that seemed mentally unstable, would you tell him your real name?" I hoped that he wouldn't hate me for that comment. He thought about it for a minute.

"I seemed mentally unstable?" Well, at least he wasn't mad. I inwardly sighed in relief.

"Keep in mind that I saw you freaking out about Rose," I said, not able to resist a smirk as the Doctor's eyes went wide in surprise. I guess that he had forgotten about that.

*time break of a few awkward seconds*

"Anyways, I've lost the signal. Donna, we've got to get to your office. HC Clements. I think that's where it all started. Lance! Is it Lance? Lance, can you give me a lift?" Poor Lance.

"Um, ok, I guess," he said with such uncertainty. Then he looked at Donna and saw the grateful look on her face and smiled. Then as soon as he turned away the smile dropped, and for a fraction of a second I could've sworn that I saw disgust on his face. I could have been imagining it, but what if I wasn't?

"Come on, my car is this way." Okay. I'll remember it for later.

We followed him to the car in silence. Lance opened the passenger door for Donna then went around on the other side and got into the driver's seat. The Doctor was about to get in behind Donna, to where he was almost stepping into the car (almost isn't good enough for this case), when I snuck in right there and took the seat. He looked at me in annoyance and a bit of shock at the abruptness of my appearance. I just stuck my tongue out at him and shut the door.

**Doctor's POV (ignoring all other thoughts running through his head)**

** "**Well, doesn't she seem lighthearted," I muttered to myself in spite. Not like there was anyone around that could here. I walked around to the other side and got in. After a few minutes of silence (okay, it wasn't silence, I just wasn't going to listen to Lance and Donna talk) I looked over at Jenna. She doesn't seem to be lying. Lying people don't tend to act as lighthearted. And she was just sitting there, smiling, and tapping her foot in rhythm to the music.

Why do people get so obsessed with things like music? I don't understand!

**Jenna's POV**

After I slammed the door in the Doctor's face I sat there and smiled. I was having fun. Then Lance and Donna started to talk (BOR-ING!) so I decided to put on my headphones again. The Doctor got in and we left. I started tapping my foot to the song. I love this song. A lot.

Then I heard muffled words. I took off my headphones and looked at the Doctor.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear you. What did you say?"

"What are you listening to? What song?" Um, ok.

"Monsters by Matchbox Romance. Why?"

"Oh, no reason."

"I'm sure" I said it like I knew he was lying. Which I did. After a few minutes he said, "Oh my God Jenna, I'm just bored. It's not like I get much of a kick out of hearing those two talk." He whispered the last part if you were wondering why Donna didn't respond. But at his comment I had to laugh.

"I agree wholeheartedly," I said truthfully.

"Would you like to listen?" I asked.

"Anything to not have to listen to them talk nonsense." He said it almost desperately.

**Doctor's POV**

She laughed at my desperation to not listen to them.

**Jenna's POV**

He glared at me for laughing. Ha. Anyways, I unplugged my headphones, took my ear buds out of my pocket, and plugged those in instead. I gave the Doctor one ear bud, and he switched to the middle seat so he didn't have to almost fall because he was leaning so far to hear the music. I was laughing a lot by now and Donna looked back to see what I was laughing at. After seeing the Doctor almost on the floor of the car she sighed (though she was obviously trying not to laugh) and turned back to talk to Lance again.

Once the Doctor was situated in the middle seat I asked him, "What song do you want to listen to?"

"You choose. You obviously have more music listening experience than I do." Seriously? He was going to let me choose?

"Are you sure you don't want to choose?" I said unbelieving.

"Yep. I am _a lot_ older than you, but I don't listen to music often. And the music I listen to isn't even from Earth."

"Well, if you insist," I said uneasily. What to listen to that he might like. What would he like? I don't know. I know so little about him, BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT!

Hmm… I scrolled through the list of songs and one caught my eye that I think he might actually like. Possibly. I'm not sure. Actually, I think he won't like it. Oh well. I chose "Still Rock and Roll to Me." At first he didn't seem to like it. He just sat there with a frown of concentration. But, after a few seconds he started nodding in acceptance. I smiled at his reaction (I was expecting him to hate it) and went back to tapping my foot to the beat. *Robotic voice activated* Mission, Successful.

*Time break* of Doctor criticizing lyrics that didn't make any sense*

"We're here," said Lance. I ripped the ear buds out of both our ears so the Doctor couldn't criticize it anymore. Or any more songs that is. He still continued to criticize the music.

"I mean, seriously. It doesn't make any sense! 'have you heard the news that you're dead?' That doesn't make one bit of sense! Or not for humans anyways. He's not like Jack either. So why would he put it? Maybe he's not really human," he said at first unbelieving, then thoughtful.

"Oh my God," I said with my head in my hands. Then, running my fingers back through my hair and pulling it, I said, "Doctor, I can assure you that Gerard Way is human." Why'd he have to do this? It isn't even a believable theory!

"Oh yeah?! Well how would you know!" he said walking through the door. "Have you met him? and even if you have, you wouldn't know whether or not he was an alien! Logic."

"No, what it is is BS." After that he just glared at me. Then he looked ahead and that sped up so he could leave me behind.

Without the Doctor to talk to, Donna's and Lance's conversation seemed to get louder. I looked back at them as I walked and Donna saw me. She gave me the customary sign to go away, and while she was looking at me I again saw that look of disgust on Lance's face again. Then I ran into the doorframe.

*painful time break*

I was with Donna and Lance, who were listening to the Doctor ramble on and on. It was something about Torchwood, scuba diving, and a pencil in a mug. My head hurt too much to listen, let alone understand what he was saying. Then he ran over to the elevator (I refuse to call it a lift because, well, for no reason really. In fact lift sounds fancier. Ha! I now have a reason!) with Donna and Lance trailing close behind. Well Donna at least. It took Lance a few seconds to realize that they left, then he jogged after them looking confused. I groaned inwardly and started walking in the general direction of the elevator.

By the time I got there the doors were already closing, but the Doctor reached forward and held them open for me.

"You coming?' he asked, knowing that the answer was a yes.

"Of course! Sorry I took so long, but my head just hurts a bit. Everything alright in here?" Lance had a sort of a defeated look on his face, so I figured that he had just lost some sort of argument.

"Just peachy," said Lance bitterly.

Stepping into the lift (Noooooooooooooooooo! I just said lift!) I asked Lance, "What, don't want to be in the line of fire?" His face looked sort of panicked at the question. I chuckled a bit at that, seeing as he was afraid of it and I didn't ever want to stop.

*creepy voice activated*

Then the elevator doors closed.

Sorry, I had to make that sound creepy. It was really just boring. I guess it might be creepy if I was claustrophobic. But I'm not so… yeah.

"You know, considering what kind of business this is, I'd expect better elevator music," I said truthfully while also trying to lift the impending silence that had overlain the elevator. Besides the music that is.

"Well, at least it doesn't have lyrics to screw up on," said the Doctor innocently. I glared at him. There was just an intense glare between us for a few minutes as we just stood there. Then the lyrics of the song began, and they were _terrible. _At that moment we both started cracking up. By the time that the elevator doors opened I was sprawled on the ground by Donna's and Lance's feet while the Doctor was on his knees, just shaking with laughter. It wasn't even that funny, but that made the situation even funnier. Donna just stared at us a bit unbelieving, but Lance looked at us as if we were insane. Oh, how I love it when people think I'm crazy.

After a couple minutes of laughter that had me gasping for air, the elevator doors started to close. AT that moment Lance kicked me to the side and walked out of the elevator, though the Doctor (who was still laughing) had the courtesy to lean forward and hold the doors open. Donna stepped over me and walked out, and after I had caught my breath I managed to pull myself to my feet and walk out the doors. After I was clear of the doors, I held them open for the Doctor and offered him my hand. He gratefully took it and, still chucking a bit, stumbled out the doors.

"Where are we?" said Lance with a hint of fear in his voice. Actually it was a bit more of a hint. It was actually sort of a whining little kid that's afraid of the monsters in his closet. While shaking my head at him I clicked my tongue in shame.

"Well, we deserve to know. Where are we? What goes on down here?" said Donna, stubborn as ever. I sort of feel like I'm in an episode of Supernatural. The creepy setting where anything can happen at any point in time. Oh God, I hope not. The thought alone is sending shivers up my spine.

"Do you think Mister Clements knows about this place?" said Donna, wrecking my train of thought. In this case I'm glad.

"The mysterious HC Clements? I think he's part of it. Oh, look. Transport." There were three segways. (Is that not a correct word, because my stupid computer wants to autocorrect it?)I was about to laugh at the sheer improbability of the situation. Then I realized an important fact that I didn't seem to really register before. There were three of the segways. And there were four of us.

"Well, what the h*** are we supposed to do now?" It is impossible.

"I don't know," said the Doctor with a look of curiosity on his face. Curiosity! In such an impossible (not really) situation! What is wrong with you?!

"I would happily stay behind," said Lance quickly, seeing his chance (not really) to get away from this madhouse. I like to use the words not really in parenthesis.

"Oi!" said Donna and I in unison. After glaring at each other Donna continued saying, "You ain't goin' anywhere."

"Incorrect grammar!" I said quickly in a fake cough. I got another glare from her for that and a chuckle from the Doctor.

"I suppose, since you are the smallest, that you will have to ride with one of us," said the Doctor slowly and awkwardly.

"No offense to you all or anything, but I'd rather do 50 suicides across a football field." Okay, not completely true. But, hey, it proved my point.

"It's either that or one of us runs."

"Well… I guess we could work out something. But I'm not riding with one of you. I'm riding with two." I confused them with that bit.

**(has anyone else noticed that I cannot find a good place to end this chapter so I can post it?)**

Donna and the Doctor looked at each other. In unity (haha, I found a word to use instead of unison. *sticks tongue out to all readers*) they said, "What the h*** does that mean?!" Hehehe…

**_preview of next chapter_**

_After a few minutes of silence and me giving them a creepy look Donna said, "Well, are you going to tell us what that means?"_

_ "Well, I suppose if I must." I walked over to the segways._

_ "You two will ride close together," I said directing my statement at the Doctor and Donna. "I will have one foot on the Doctor's segway and one foot on Donna's. I do not want to ride directly with either of you because that would just be awkward. Do we have a deal?" _

**_Thank you to everyone who has viewed this or reviewed it. Or followed it. Or favorited it. I'm sorry, I forgot how to find out all of your names. I meant screen names. And sorry I posted so late. I'm working on it, but I don't have a lot of time, even though it's spring break._**


	12. THE SEGWAYS!

After a few minutes of silence and me giving them a creepy look Donna said,  
"Well, are you going to tell us what that means?"  
"Well, I suppose if I must." I turned away from them and walked away slightly.  
"You two will ride close together," I said directing my statement at the Doctor and Donna. "I will have one foot on the Doctor's segway and one foot on Donna's. I do not want to ride directly with either of you because that would just be awkward," Clapping my hands together I turned to face them and said, "Do we have a deal?" I asked looking at the Doctor and Donna expectantly.  
"Umm, yeah, I guess. That okay with you Donna?" the Doctor asked, slightly bemused by my sudden authority no doubt.  
"I don't care as long as we get going soon," said Donna putting her head in one hand.  
"Good then. Let's go for a ride."  
Put in one of those line thingies here.  
Donna sucks.  
I did what we agreed on with the segways and after a few minutes she just stopped. I spun around and almost fell off the Doctor's Segway, but I managed to hang on. Now I had to ride only with the Doctor. I was partially debating whether or not to hop off and just run beside them all. I think I might.  
But, besides the fact that Donna is a freaking idiot, it was sort of funny. Not just the segways, but the entire situation. I mean, seriously. Think about it. It was laughable. In fact, even though I wasn't laughing, I had an enormous grin on my face. Then Donna laughed and I just couldn't help it any more.  
At the exact same time the Doctor and I burst into fits of hysterical laughter. The only one not laughing was Lance who, yet again, was looking at us as if we were insane. If I wasn't on the segway I was sure that I would be on the ground again. Then after a few minutes we came up to a door. It said 'authorized personnel only' so naturally we had to check it out. Across the top in block capital writing was the word: Torchwood.  
Anyways, the Doctor turned the wheel to open it. There was a… a… ladder! Sorry, had to be dramatic there. It was the perfect opportunity.  
"Wait here. Just need to get my bearings. Don't do anything." He said it to all of us, but he had looked at me the majority of that sentence. Why would he think that I would disobey him? I mean, why not Donna, or Lance?  
"You'd better come back," said Donna. (Okay, I guess there isn't a chance that Donna would do anything.) Then he started up the ladder.  
"I couldn't get rid of you if I tried. Or you," he said, definitely pointing the comment at me this time. But he didn't say it harshly. More like he wanted me to stick around. I smiled at that. If he wants me around then maybe I won't have to go home. Then this exciting life could really be mine.  
As soon as the Doctor was out of earshot Lance started up again. "Donna, have you thought about this? Properly? I mean, this is serious! What the hell are we going to do?" He ruined my marvellous fantasy right there with his panicky voice.  
"Oh, I thought July."  
At that I gave a short outburst of laughter. And this time, it was Lance who glared at me. Donna just looked confused for a moment, but then she got it and just shrugged it off.  
I heard a noise from the top of the ladder. The Doctor had opened a door thingy that looked like it would be in a submarine and had climbed out. Oh, and I now know why he would be worried about my disobeying him. Because I'm going to do it right now.  
Anyways, I climbed up the ladder and pulled myself out of the submarine door thing.  
"Hey! I told you to stay there!" exclaimed the Doctor indignantly.  
"Why do you think I'm out here?" I asked sassily. If there was something to lean up against I would've, but in this case I had to settle for just crossing my arms and looking smug. He just sighed.  
"So…" I said looking around. "The Thames."  
"Yep," he agreed.  
"What would you do if I just pushed you in right now?" I asked in honest curiosity with a bit of a smile on my face.  
He turned around, looked at me as if I was insane, then said, "I think that if you did that I might have to kill you." He said it so seriously. Too seriously. I get that this is a bit of a pressing (and hilarious) situation, but he should have some fun. Or more fun anyway. Do you think that he would really kill me?  
I pushed him in.  
After a few seconds of my laughter he came up spitting out water, all the while saying, "What the h*** was that for!"  
""You didn't seem to be having enough fun," I said honestly looking at him like 'Yeah. I just did that.'  
"So- so you- So you decide to push me into the river?!"  
"Yep. I thought that was obvious," I said in the most serious voice that I could obtain at the moment, which admittedly wasn't very serious at all. He just glared at me in spite.  
"Come on, get out of the water," I said offering my hand out for him to take. He took it and began to crawl back up out of the water.  
"I would've had no reason to get out of the water. If it weren't for you," he said with a small, unbelieving laugh. I just looked at him with a bit of a derp face, like 'you know you want to laugh.' And after a few minutes of glaring he just rubbed his head like 'why do I let her stay.'  
Then he started to laugh. And then pushed me into the water.  
For a few seconds I was so startled that I couldn't tell what way was up and I actually breathed in a bit of water. Then I resurfaced, at first coughing up water then laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe. I even went back under a few times. I suppose dying of laughter was better than dying by drowning.  
After my laughing fit was over the Doctor offered me his hand and I crawled out of the Thames. We both had grins up to our ears.  
After we had rung out our clothes we went down the ladder. Still grinning the Doctor said, "Thames flood barrier right on top of us. Torchwood snuck in and built this place underneath."  
"What, there's like a secret base hidden underneath a major London landmark?" said Donna uneasily, obviously wondering why the h*** we were soaking wet.  
Then I said, "Oh, I know. Unheard of."  
"Okay, did you two go for a swim in the Thames or something?" asked Lance unbelieving.  
"Well, that depends," I said.  
"On what?!"  
"On whether or not pushing each other in counts as going for a swim." Lance just stared at us, switching his gaze back and forth, like we were actually insane this time. Donna just shook her head, putting it in her hands in unbelief.  
"Come on, let's go," said Donna after a few minutes.  
Line thingy.  
After a bit of walking and me and the Doctor shoving each other and Donna across the corridor (I proudly take credit for starting it all. Oh, and we tried to shove Lance, but he just stumbled away looking at us in unbelieving disgust. Disgust at our light-heartedness in this situation, and disgust that I got him wet. After all I was still soaking wet.), we came to a laboratory. I should've made that sound menacing, but I didn't feel like it, so oh well. There were tons of bubbling tubes around the room. Weird.  
"Ooh, look at this. Stunning!" said the Doctor while picking up a container that was also bubbling. Just to make this clear, it was not the container itself that was bubbling, but it was the liquid inside.  
"Cool," I said matter-of-factly.  
"What does it do?"  
"Particle extrusion. Hold on. Brilliant. They've been manufacturing Huon particles. Course, my people got rid of Huons. They unravel the atomic structure." Will he ever explain what (probably not on Earth) Huon particles are?!  
"Your people? Who are they? What company do you represent?"  
He's an alien, and you ask what company he works for? Slow clap for Lance everyone. Slow clap for Lance.

"Oh, I'm a freelancer. But this lot are rebuilding them. They've been using the river. Extruding them through a flat hydrogen base so they've got the end result, Huon particles in liquid form."  
Okay, if I was a scientist I probably could've understood more. I vowed that if I got out of this, I would study more physics. Or biology. Or chemistry. What did they class this as? There is no extra-terrestrial unit at school!  
"And that's what's inside me?" Donna asked with wide eyes.  
Yes Donna. Yes it is. Then the Doctor turned a knob on the container and the liquid inside glowed gold. So did Donna.  
"Oh, my God!"  
"Doctor, you might want to stop now," I said feeling bad for Donna despite my initial remarks about her.  
He didn't seem to hear, but he did stop. He also kept on rambling though.  
"Genius. Because the particles are inert, they need something living to catalyse inside and that's you. Saturate the body and then. Ha!" He jumped backwards enthusiastically. "The wedding! Yes, you're getting married, that's it! Best day of your life, walking down the aisle. Oh, your body's a battleground! There's a chemical war inside! Adrenaline, acetylcholine. Wham! go the endorphins. Oh, you're cooking! Yeah, you're like a walking oven. A pressure cooker, a microwave, all churning away. The particles reach boiling point. Shazam!"  
The silence after the Doctor's outburst was shattered by the sound of Donna's hand connecting with the Doctor's face with a short slap. He deserved it. In fact, he deserved it so much that I went over to him, spun him around to face me, then I also slapped him.  
"What did I do this time?" he moaned, holding his throbbing jaw.  
"Are you enjoying this? Right, just tell me. These particles, are they dangerous? Am I safe?"  
No Donna. He said something about them unravelling the atomic structure. That can't be good.  
"Yes." He said it uneasily.  
LIAR!  
"Doctor, if your lot got rid of Huon particles, why did they do that?"  
"Because they were deadly."  
"You should have kept lying to her, you idiot!" I yelled and smacked him on the back of the head.  
"Oh, my God.'  
"I'll sort it out, Donna. Whatever's been done to you, I'll reverse it. I am not about to lose someone else." Then something weird happened. Though I guess that the other stuff was also weird.  
A booming voice said, "Oh, she is long since lost."  
Well aren't you a j***. Then I heard a noise from behind me, and I turned to see the wall sliding up. In the room that had now been revealed, there was a GIGANTIC whole in the middle of the floor. I walked up cautiously and looked down, but it just seemed to go on forever.  
"I have waited so long, hibernating at the edge of the universe until the secret heart was uncovered and called out to waken!" I didn't really understand that sentence. And how can you hibernate at the end of the universe exactly?  
Then Lance ran away cowardly. And then robots in long black robes turned their guns on us who had not run away in a panic. Wait, those robots looked like the same one that was driving Donna's cab earlier. Well, that explains a lot. Yet it leaves so many questions, and created so many more. Of course, these questions that were created weren't really just created. I had just pushed them to the back of my mind. Most important, why Donna? And who chose this? There were a lot of decisions that would have to be made for any of this to occur. WHO?! Eh, I would think about it later, I had more pressing matters at the moment.  
"Someone's been digging. Oh, very Torchwood. Drilled by laser. How far down does it go?" said the Doctor looking sort of impressed, but more interested. Maybe he is also asking the questions running through my head. (Oh, and by the way, real lasers are AWESOME!)  
"Down and down, all the way to the center of the Earth!"  
'Well, doesn't that sound ominous?' I thought sarcastically.  
"Really? Seriously? What for?" asked the Doctor.  
He is very inquisitive. It's sort of cool. And funny to watch the confused look on his face as he is honestly wondering why someone would do something that seemed so pointless.  
"Dinosaurs," said Donna confidently.  
I face-palmed.  
"What?"  
"Dinosaurs?" said Donna, less confident obviously as displayed by the question mark.  
"What are you on about, dinosaurs?" said the Doctor, honestly confused this time.  
"It's a movie, Journey to the Centre of the Earth," said I with utter disappointment in Donna.  
"Trying to help."  
Then the Doctor said, "That's not helping," just as I said, "Well you just completely failed in that aspect, now didn't you?  
"Such a sweet couple."  
What?! You better not be talking about me and the Doctor! If you are I swear to God, I will find you. And I will kill you.  
"Only a madman talks to thin air and trust me, you don't want to make me mad. Where are you?" he shouted. At thin air.  
Wasn't that first sentence just perfect? I need to use that sometime… Sorry, got lost in thought there. The voice (who I was now calling John, even though it sounded more like a girl's voice I guess) ruined that train of thought anyways by speaking.  
"High in the sky. Floating so high on Christmas night." Okay, that one actually maleficent. Or in other words, freaky as freakin h*** spelled maleficent wrong. I know because when I looked up the definition, the word didn't exist.) I was actually getting kind of scared now.  
"I didn't come all this way to talk on the intercom. Come on; let's have a look at you!" Yeah! Then I can (hopefully) kill this, this… *sigh.* I can't think of a good insult.  
"Who are you with such command?" The person that's going to be right alongside me kicking you a**. Or maybe it will just be him, I'm not sure if I'll be able to help much.  
"I'm the Doctor," he said smugly. Or it at least seemed like it.  
"Prepare your best medicines, doctor man, for you will be sick at heart." Okay, that was a good pun. Then she appeared here. I was so shocked for a moment that I couldn't move, let alone speak. Then I managed to stutter, "What the h***?" because what I was looking at was quite impossible. But, so is a blue police box that is bigger on the inside.  
Anyways, what I was looking at was basically a gigantic, deep but not really blood red, spider. It had the eight eyes and legs and everything else. It was a gigantic spider. That could talk. (Does anyone know why I suddenly thought of the song, "D***ed If I Do Ya (D***ed If I Don't)? I am seriously wondering about this.) Considering the situation I'm in, I am pretty much screwed. (Ohhh, that's why.)Unless the Doctor has a plan that is.  
Just as that last thought came to mind (sometimes, but rarely, I think a lot of things in a matter of seconds) he said, "Racnoss? But that's impossible. You're one of the Racnoss?"  
"Empress of the Racnoss." I just realized that every time she pronounces an 's' she hisses it. I dare every one reading this to pronounce S's like that for an entire day. You don't have to, but if you do, please tell me and I will forever respect you. Even though I will most likely not know you. I can still respect you though, right?  
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lance climbing a ladder and running. What are you doing you idiot?  
"If you're the Empress, where's the rest of the Racnoss? Or, are you the only one?" Well, I guess that is a good question if there weren't supposed to be any left in the first place.  
"Such a sharp mind." Well, there's the answer to that question.  
"That's it, the last of your kind. The Racnoss come from the Dark Times, billions of years ago. Billions. They were carnivores, omnivores. They devoured whole planets." He talks in such a weird voice. Anyone else ever notice that? Well, I guess you can't hear it through the computer. Or phone. Or whatever you are reading this on.  
"Racnoss are born starving. Is that our fault?"  
Well, isn't that an extremely creepy sentence? Considering the topic at hand anyway.  
"They eat people?" No s*** Sherlock."

"HC Clements, did he wear those, those err, black and white shoes?" *suspicious voice in thoughts* Why?  
"He did. We used to laugh. We used to call him the fat cat in spats." By now I was looking around to see what the Doctor was talking about. Then I looked up and saw a pair of those shoes that he was talking about sticking out of a web on the ceiling.  
As I had my mouth wide open like 'What the heck?!' Donna said, "Oh, my God!" I guess that the Doctor had pointed it out to her while I was still in shock. This world is like a movie come to life. If I'm

going to stay with the Doctor for any amount of time at all, I need to get used to this.

"Mmm. My Christmas dinner." I hid it as best I could, but I felt like puking right there. I have bit people before (for no reason but to freak them out). It doesn't taste good. Imagine what it would be like to eat an entire person. Or while we're on the subject, an entire planet!

"You shouldn't even exist. Way back in history, the fledgling Empires went to war against the Racnoss they were wiped out." Just as he said that I saw Lance near the Empress motioning for us to be quiet.

(Lance is on a balcony above the Empress. He makes the shush gesture.)

"Except for me." Well. That's gotta suck to be an alone gigantic spider that eats planets. I feel her pain. Not really though because I do none of those things and I want to kill her, but does that really matter?

"But that's what I've got inside me, that Huon energy thing. Oi! Look at me, lady, I'm talking. Where do I fit in? How comes I get all stacked up with these Huon particles? Look at me, you! Look me in the eye and tell me." Well, she is doing an awful job at distracting the Empress. A minute ago she was practically scared to death, now she's screaming at the top of her lungs in a sort of defiance. Sort of obvious Donna, don't you think?

"The bride is so feisty." No, what she is, is annoying.

Anyways, Lance was sneaking up behind the empress with an axe. *suspicious/curious voice* But it didn't really look like he was determined to kill her. More like a child who was the lead in his first play.

Just then, Donna began to yell. "Yes, I am! And-" I cut her off there. Then I leaned over and whispered to her, "I wouldn't count o Lance this time Donna," then turned away taking a few steps back.

"Why not?' Donna asked confused. Just then we all looked (or at least I did, I wasn't looking at the others so I don't know whether or not they looked) as Lance started to swing the axe. It was obvious that he wasn't doing it for the kill though. The Empress turned and hissed at him. for a moment everything seemed to freeze.

Then Lance began to laugh and soon after the Empress joined in. "That was a good one. Your face," said Lance in the midst of his bout of laughter.

"Lance is funny." Only to you sweetheart.

"What?" How was Donna still discombobulated? (Sorry, that word is just so weird that I had to use it. In this case it means confused.)

"I'm sorry," the Doctor said as a condolence.

"I did try to warn you."

"Sorry for what? Lance," I stopped her there by putting my hand on her arm. She looked at me, but I just shook my head. I think she finally started to get it. But not before Lance started to run off his big mouth.

"God, she's thick. Months I've had to put up with her. Months. A woman who can't even point to Germany on a map." Well. If anyone ever tried to draw a jerk-face, they should probably use Lance's picture as a reference as to what they look like.

"I don't understand." Okay, maybe she didn't get it completely.

"How did you meet him?" Okay, so the Doctor is trying to explain it to her nicely and obviously. The only way it will really work in this case.

"In the office." Okay, now get the rest.

"He made you coffee." Okay, I forgot that part. But why does it matter exactly? I feel like I should know why, but I probably just pushed it to the back of my head subconsciously.

"What?"

"Every day, I made you coffee."

"Stay out of this," I said glaring at him.

"You had to be dosed with liquid particles over six months." Ohh, now I get it.

"He was poisoning me." Yes, yes he was. Isn't he just the perfect fiancé?

"It was all there in the job title. The Head of Human Resources." Okay, that one I don't really get.

"This time, it's personnel." Okay, that was an _awful_ pun. But I hate puns in general, so I guess that any pun seems awful to me.

"But, we were getting married," said Donna with a sort of crushed look in her eyes.

"Well, I couldn't risk you running off. I had to say yes. And then I was stuck with a woman who thinks the height of excitement is a new flavor Pringle. Oh, I had to sit there and listen to all that yap yap yap. Oh, Brad and Angelina. Is Posh pregnant? X Factor, Atkins Diet, Feng Shui, split ends, text me, text me, text me. Dear God, the never ending fountain of fat, stupid trivia. I deserve a medal," Said Lance obnoxiously.

"Oh really? Is that what you think? Listen, I don't like Donna, at all, and in fact I think she is sort of pathetic." Then I turned towards her and said, "No offense Donna." Then I turned back and continued. "But she is still a h*** of a lot better then you could ever be. She doesn't deserve scum like you," I finished with spite in my voice as I glared at the scum of the Earth. I have _never_ hated someone as much as I hate Lance right now.

Then the Doctor continued as if he hadn't even heard me. In fact I would have thought that he didn't hear me if he didn't look at me with, umm, I guess approval. Anyways he said, "Oh, is that what she's offered you? The Empress of the Racnoss? What are you, her consort?"

"It's better than a night with her." If he wasn't standing next to that Racnoss thing, then I would have gone up and slapped him right there and then.

"But I love you," said Donna desperately. I face palmed.

"That's what made it easy. It's like you said, Doctor. The big picture. What's the point of it all if the human race is nothing? That's what the Empress can give me. The chance to go out there. To see it. The size of it all. I think you understand that, don't you, Doctor?"

"I swear to God that I'm going to kill you Lance." I said it under my breath almost, but he could still hear it. He looked at me like he was untouchable. I'll have to test that theory.

"Who is this little physician?" She is so vain!

"She said Martian." Well, at least that freaking idiot doesn't know anything.

"Oh, I'm sort of homeless. But the point is, what's down here? The Racnoss are extinct. What's going to help you four thousand miles down? That's just the molten core of the Earth, isn't it?" Okay, I wouldn't say he's quite vain, but he is most definitely self-confident. I guess in cases like these (which must happen to him a lot) that is a good thing.

"I think he wants us to talk."

"Oh, I didn't know that!" I said under my breath. I don't think he heard what I said, but he glared at me anyway and I held his stare.

Then the Empress, oblivious to all this, said, "I think so, too.

Lance broke away from my stare and said, "Well, tough! All we need is Donna."

"And all you're going to get is your butt kicked," I said, because I was seriously starting to get pissed off at Lance.

"Kill this chattering little doctor man, and his pesky sidekick."

"Oh I swear," I said running forward, but the Doctor grabbed me and pulled me back as Donna said, "Don't you hurt them!"

"No, no, Donna. It's all right."

"No, I won't let them." Like you could do anything to stop it? Their all around us!

"At arms!" All the robots pointed there guns at us. Crap.

" Ah, now. Except," said the Doctor cunningly. Oh God, please tell me this means he has a plan, please tell me he has a plan!

"Take aim!"

"Well, I just want to point out the obvious." Okay Jenna, calm down. He has a plan. You will live to see tomorrow, not like it will be enjoyable, but it would be better than the day I'd have if I was dead! Okay, I need to stop joking with myself, it's just making me more nervous.

"They won't hit the bride. They're such very good shots." Oh well, good for you little, you little… Shoot. I still can't think of a good insult.

"Just, just, just, just, just hold on. Hold on just a tick. Just a tiny little, just a little tick. If you think about it, the particles activated in Donna and drew her inside my spaceship. So reverse it, and the spaceship comes to her," he said while turning the knob on the container holding the liquid particle things.

"Fire!"

**For the record, for the people still reading this I am going to go through and make my previous chapters better, but it will not change the story line at all. I seriously doubt that many of you read this though because of the lack of views and _re_views. Oh well, I am going to keep writing anyway. If you are one of the people that has bothered to read this far or actually like the story, please review. Thanks!**


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